I thought I had no expectations on my birthday. Maybe do some gardening, go for a hike . . . . Well, the day started out chilly and rainy, and remained so all day. OK, not so interested in gardening or hiking anymore. My youngest woke up about two hours earlier than usual, and the first thing I heard in the morning was, "Mo-om, I poo-ooped." OK, sleepy, wipe up a cute little bottom. At some point the dog peed all over a big stuffed chair (again). OK, I kinda wanted to get rid of that chair anyway. And the toilet tank started leaking and puddled up water in the bathroom. OK, that got fixed by Papa. Then, about 30 seconds into a phone call, multiple children came up whining loudly. After I cut my conversation short, I yelled. Loudly. And swearingly. Ack.
Shit. I din't deserve this on my birthday. That's what I thought. I did have expectations. Even though I thought, low key, no big deal, what I really meant was a good kind of low key, not a every little thing goes wrong kind of low key.
The part that makes it harder to stay calm and peacefully handle things that come up is the storyline that says I don't deserve this, whether its on a birthday or for some other reason. Without that, each little thing that goes 'wrong' doesn't carry the weight of unfairness or even wrongness. It's just a little thing.
Well, bad moments do not need to make for bad days, so I apologized, recovered, and played on the computer with the girls. Snail Bob and room escape games. They also sweetened me up with Camille-made gluten-free chocolate cake with a blackberry jam layer and berry cream cheese frosting, and Sylvia-made fruit salad (strawberry banana mango pomegranate).
They even did most of the clean-up. So, storyline aside, it was a day of connection and sweetness overall with a bumpy bit in there somewhere. Plus, birthdays merit a whole 'birthweek' around here. I have had plenty of goodness in my week so far with more yet to come.