OK. Call Papa. Find the bag with pears. Call tow truck. Soothe a panicked daughter. Call dentist to cancel. Breathe. Wait. Whoosh.
It's easy to be grateful for things that go well in our lives, but I can honestly say that I'm grateful for today. Grateful that we're all alive and safe, that we had a second vehicle (even if it needs brake work done). Grateful that my husband was available to come pick us up at the towing company's garage. Grateful that I have this husband in my life, and that he knows how to do brake work, and that I had pears in my bag.
Sometimes, kids 'needs' and 'desperation' seem inconsequential compared to what we're dealing with, but to them it's acutely real. It's not manufactured to inconvenience us at the worst possible moment, even if it seems that way.
I am not organized, or tidy. The only real 'rhythm' to our days is that we eat when we're hungry, sleep when we're tired, learn when we're engaged, and step up when we need to. My greatest strength (as I see it), is that I can go with the flow like nobody's business. Junk the car and leave it behind? Sure. Just make sure to get the knitting, and the pears. Let's make tacos and go for a walk when we get home.
Yesterday, Camille spent the whole day spinning yarn on a drop spindle and knitting her homespun. Sylvia and Ayla and I played games and worked puzzles. Sylvia worked on a Cyberchase quest at PBSKids with lots of reading help by me. I cooked healthy food. I fenced our favorite apple tree because a bunny had nibbled most of the bark off of the lower trunk. I read about bridge grafting as a way of saving damaged apple trees. Camille watched a Khan Academy video about atoms and elements.
Today we rode in our car for the last time as it sped down the freeway, tilted up on a tow truck, and the girls thought it was fun (by this point), and then they chatted up a mechanic about knitting and spinning yarn. His grandmother spent a lot of time doing those activities. Hmm, so what actually happens when you blow a head gasket on an old beater car? I guess we're just learning all the time.
This blog post is all over the place, and life is like that sometimes, too, but if I can find bits of grace and flow and gratitude even in those moments, then I think we're doing pretty good. I guess my kids think so, too, because I found a love note on my bed from them this evening. I guess I traded a car for a love note today, but I won't call it a loss. Truly.