Wednesday, March 14, 2012

disclaimer

One reason that I enjoy blogging is that it gives me a chance to shine the light on the best moments of our days.  It helps me to appreciate (and notice) the ordinary beauty that surrounds our family life.  But sitting here, just weeks before closing on our house, and making the biggest purchase of our lives, I'm feeling self-reflective and thinking about the various ideas and ideals that have shaped my adult life.

One thing about being open to possibilities and ideas is that it leaves so much up for questioning, so very much wiggle room and unknowns.  This can be unnerving at times, as it leaves things open to constant reevaluation, but it can also be hugely freeing.  As certain ideals that no longer suit can be discarded or left to melt away and other, more relevant ones can rise up and take their place.

I was vegetarian for well over a decade, and strictly vegan for more than half of that time.  Now, I can sing the praises of local grass-fed beef and eggs from our own pastured chickens.

I traded in the easy and already established community and nearby friends of living in a small, liberal city for country life almost 90 miles away.

We are living on idyllic organic land, in a solar- and wood-heated house, with fruit trees, endless garden space, and gorgeous valley views with tons of room to grow and spread out and enjoy the earth.  This is tempered by a long biweekly commute into the city for my husband's work (he works from home the rest of the time), and a lot of gas burned whenever the girls and I want to see friends or participate in homeschool activities.  Also, the house is more than half-unfinished, which is a huge project.  We chose it and we love it, but it is not always easy.
our "storage"room / play room

I consciously (mostly) project the good moments of our days here, but I don't want to pretend that we don't have bad moments.  Yes, we eat microgreens and grow organic veggies, but we also stop at the gas station for doughnuts sometimes.  I might bake my own whole grain bread, or I might bake a frozen pizza.  It depends on the day.
refried beans, cheesy nachos, and sprouts 

We watch TV shows through Netflix a lot, and my girls faves are iCarly and Wizards of Waverly Place.  We don't just sit around weaving yarn on sticks all day, watercolor painting, and hiking in the woods, but those are the beautiful moments that inspire me to reach for my camera.  Maybe I should take more pics of us eating gas station doughnuts in the car :)

I love radical unschooling philosophy and principles for life-long learning, and yet Camille chose to go to school, and while she has encountered some issues, she likes it.  A lot.  Her strong personality expresses itself through standing up to bullies, and soaking up lessons, and being the "weird" one who brings seaweed and tamari rice cakes in her lunch.  She sometimes gets frustrated and has sensory overload issues and lashes out if she doesn't get some space to herself, though.

So, while I go through life seeking joy and goodness, I occasionally feel the desire to fess up and not misrepresent myself here.  I believe in peaceful respectful parenting, but that doesn't prevent me from sometimes losing it and yelling, swearing, or shouting out stupid idle threats.  It does however prevent my kids from believing my stupid idle threats :)
kitchen chaos

I'm never good at ending these rambles, so that's all.

That's enough.

7 comments:

  1. Well said - you covered a lot of territory in this post and said it all really eloquently, too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I subscribe to People magazine, love a good gas station doughnut, religiously watch Grey's Anatomy and make kimchi. Living a full life is the goal. That comes in ALL sorts of forms. You all are clearly doing it all!

    ReplyDelete
  3. my thoughts exactly. Trying to be a martyr is too fn tiring.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I find that these wordy posts come about when I'm really trying to sort out my thoughts, some of which contradict each other. So, thank you ladies, it's lovely to read your comments.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yup, I make bread & kefir & yogurt & kimchi & kombucha and eat frozen pizza and every now and again, gasp, McDonalds and sometimes yell and sometimes lay in bed & watch Real Housewives. I attend births & when I'm not on call, relish drinking too much wine. It's all about balance. Love your post!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love this post,thank you x x x

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing what you have to say. Leave a comment?